Cause and Effect, I guess that best describes my understanding of Karma. My actions, whether good intentioned or bad, create ripples on the stream in which I exist. I am not naive enough to think that doing good things with bad intentions is the same thing as good action with good intention. Nor do I think that causing harm necessarily is creating bad karma for myself either. If I came upon someone about to create harm and tragedy, I would take action to stop that. Walking away would surely create more bad karma than trying to stop the person. If I can make a difference, then I should.

How much of my life today is happening because of my past? All of it. At least in this lifetime, all of it. I can see the correlation between my place in life and the decisions I made along the journey, clearly.

Can I still run ten miles a day? No, I stopped running even before I was out of the military. Cause and Effect.

But in the larger scale, how am I effected? I try to be a good person, I fall well short of that mark most of the time, to my mind. But I do try. I know when I do wrong. When I am selfish, when I am careless with someone’s heart or feelings, when I am cruel. I am actually cruel an awful lot. For some reason my sense of humor is a cruel one. My natural state is making snide remarks at the expense of others. I know it was wrong, even as I am laughing, I know.

But how far back does that go? Was I cruel beyond compare in a past life? Was I a saint, was I a beggar who simply handed his food to an orphan, and so in doing purchased a bit of good karma as it were?

How is Karmic Law dispensed? Does God sit upon a throne and ladle out honey or vinegar based upon my actions? I can not imagine this scenario. Creator of the Universe handing out verdicts based upon my actions on a minute-by-minute basis…

To me, Karma must be so tightly woven in to the heart of the Universe that one can not exist with out the other. Karma must be there for the universe to continue, so the Universe itself conforms to the laws of Karma. Sometimes I speak like the Universe is alive and sentient itself, and I guess I do sort of think that.

Where will I be in ten years? Will I work on myself for the better, and doing so naturally create good karma for myself and those around me?

I have children now. That gives a person pause too. My actions do not simply shape my karma, for theirs must also be tightly coupled with mine. My good fortune is theirs, right? At least for now. Of course that just makes me wonder how their karma is effecting me as well. My son, was he my best friend in a past life? My boss, my brother, my adversary? The implications run so deep.

Okay, that is quite enough for today.

Do I actually know someone who could be considered a Bodhisattva? Some person who I might have contact with that is concerned with one thing only: teaching the Dharma and thereby helping others out of this suffering and into enlightenment. In doing so they must forgo Buddhahood to help others along that same path. Can you imagine seeing the goal, seeing complete release and true enlightenment, and then turning away to be there for others? To make sure others can achieve that with you or even before you?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU_iN6iQERU[/youtube]

If I was meditating tonight, and slowly the slices of reality opened before me, like a rose bloom in the dawn, would I walk away from that to bring others the same understanding? I would like to think I would be concerned with the welfare of others, how can you be enlightened and not be concerned with the all other sentient beings?

I hope that I am now someone who has ‘entered the stream’. A Sotpanna, literally one who enters the stream, as becoming Enlightened was considered crossing the stream. I have a firm understanding in the Judeo-Christian dogma and my recent readings on the subject of The Buddha and what we refer to as Buddhism or maybe what I think of as walking in the Buddhapada has given me an awful lot to think about.

Sometimes I think about Chenrezig, the blue skinned, four-armed incarnation of the thousand-armed Avalokiteshvara of India. He is the ‘Lord of the World’ in Buddhist tradition, with many incarnations across the Buddhist lands of Asia and India. What if I was called upon like that? What if I opened my ears today and heard the suffering of the people, would I even want to take on a thousand arms to reach out to them and help them?

I quietly chant my mantra, Om Mani Padme Hum, as I slow my mind and try to meditate at night, or in the office while I work and listen to something soft… trying to let go. But I never can let go.

I am not ready to take the vows of a Bodhisattva just yet, but soon, maybe even in this lifetime.