The scene looks like a university setting, on an open grassy area between many red brick buildings.  The buildings are camouflaged with ivy and ancient oaks, making them seem to fade in and out of existence in the leaf-sway on the breeze, only the lights from their myriad windows making them seem real.  A large group of people is gathered around a circle of benches on this cloudless moonlit night, they are listening to someone tell them about something, it all seems very important as I walk toward them.

I want between the benches and around those who sit on the grass, dodging flip-flops and beer cans and I move in to the center, on a mission.

“Are you ready?” the speaker asks me as I approach.

“One last thing I need still,” I say, pointing up at a building in the distance.

“Well,” he says turning to look across the lawn, “be quick about it then.”

I find myself standing now in a giant library.  Dusty books line dimly lit shelf after shelf.  I move over them, searching for a tome that I know must be here, but I cannot find it.  I grow frantic, pulling massive old books from the shelves and dropping them onto the floor in loud, dust exploding, bang and bang.  I open cover after cover, reading the first few sentences of each book seeking what I need, never quite finding the right story, until finally I understand.

I realize what I need to explain to the group below on the grass, and I race toward the stairs…but there I am stopped cold.  The stairs are too steep to climb down, and it is too far down below to jump safely.

Paralyzed with fear I stare out the windows at the group around the circle of benches, unable to reach them.

Just as no pleasures can bring delight
To someone whose body is ablaze with fire,
Nor can the great compassionate ones be pleased
When harm is done to sentient beings.
- Shantideva

He caught a glimpse of her from across the vale, she stood between two more fairies that were from another mound.  He knew at once that she was a treasure unto herself.  Skin the color of alabaster and milk, hair the color of lavender and periwinkles, her eyes shone the glittering gold, emeralds and rubies of the royal treasure.  He knew of her already, betrothed to a Seelie prince, she was the blood with which the treaty would be signed in.  The whole of the court was in line to greet her, to kiss her hand, to feel her magic flow over them.

He slowly neared her in the line, announcement after announcement of Fay royalty as introductions were made, and yet the herald’s eye was cast upon him more than not. Wondering how to announce me, are you young one? He thought to himself with a smile showing in his eyes.

Finally he was before her, her eyes looked up along his body, from his chest to his curly green beard and then to meet his green eyes.

“Lady, may I introduce you to Bergkrieger, Warrior of the Green Night.” the herald said, bowing deeply.

Her voice caught in her throat, her eyes, locked onto his, she could feel his magic rolling like thunder across her hand as he bent low to kiss it.

“I trust you are well, Lady,” and then he moved on.  She watched him for a moment longer as he moved through the crowd, his shoulders and head above most of the fairies in the gathering.  She was more than intrigued; she was beguiled by his smile, by his aura, and by his soft ways.

As he moved into the fray he was thinking only about her beauty, and that she wore a gilded sword strapped across her thin back.  She is a warrior as well as a beauty.  He wanted to know more… but how?

Across the vale an old acquaintance caught Bergkrieger in a small conversation.

“You seem well, old friend,” the small fair haired wisp said.  ”I see a smile upon your countenance for the first time in an age.”

“It seems, fair wisp, that tonight I have seen more than magic, but also substance.”

Two long days and nights passed before he saw her again.  Standing in the middle of her ladies, she spoke in soft tones as they nodded their heads and fretted with lace and lamé, the shadows danced around them as the candle flames flickered in the ever present breeze.  As he entered the cavernous room the shadows eased away from him, like snow sliding off of a glacier.  A luminescent greenish light seemed to flow off of him , as he moved into the center of the hall this light slipped into translucence and was gone.

(I have had this one in my head for months, more later)

• I know how to treat people.  As long as you are a decent person, hey, me too!
• strong work ethic. no kidding, i will succeed, and i will drag you along for the ride.
• musical tastes that range the spectrum.  Though I worship at the altar of the Almighty Pink Floyd, I love me some Nate Dog and Lady Gaga. (No, I am not gay. That I know of.)
• shaved head. Hey, who doesn’t need more shaved head and goatee wearing friends?
• sweaty palms. Well, only when I am nervous. Crap, I got nervous telling you that, I need a towel. BRB.
• I love technology, quesadillas and lamas.
• barely a drinker, so you always have a DD. I mean, I might partake in a few little vodka drinks with some fruit juice thrown in, and the occasional umbrella, but hey, who doesn’t?
• love to cook!
• love to eat good food.
• can lay in a bed on a rainy afternoon reading all day and only go out to walk the dog… I will even walk your dog. No, that isn’t necessarily a euphemism, but take it as you will.
• sometimes I can be poetic, or so I am told. I am sure it gets old, but I will let thou judgest.
• ability to believe almost any conspiracy theory. Atlantis, why not. Martians living on earth as lizards who rule the countries of the world, sounds plausible. (This makes life way more interesting.)
• animal lover. Not that kind, you are sick. Be ashamed. I mean that animals are little souls and I love them.  Animals like me too. Strays follow me when I go for walks. All the dogs in PetSmart want to hang out with the me. It is both, a blessing and a curse.
• ninja training. I was in the USMC and physically fit, I was a ninja yo! But, sadly, now I have packed on a few pounds, so I am sumo. I can still protect that which needs it.
• seriously, I am a protector.  Evil undead midget clowns better stay the hell away from me. I am afraid of them, and I will hurt them. Not kidding.
• massages – no lie, I am great at giving them.
• multilingual.  I can pick up your language with speed and agility. Everyone has their own language, so I become an expert in [insert your own name here]ese.
• compassion. Yeah, I got that too!
• sometimes I am really funny.  I mean it, I crack myself up all the time. If you don’t think I am funny, you suck.
• outgoing and friendly. I have never met a stranger I don’t welcome as a friend.
• hugger – I hug my guy friends and I think that full frontal hugging between male and female friends is appropriate sometimes. I reserve the right to decide this based upon a few factors which I will not go into here.
• conversational – I can carry on a conversation about religion, philosophy, history, math and the sciences all night. I can talk about technology, Dungeons and Dragons, and even Strawberry Shortcake too. Yeah, I’m deep.
• traveler – I am headed to the Orient soon and I am booking friends who would be good travelers. No whining, adventure seeking, food loving, wine drinking, roughing it in hotels with indoor plumbing friends who want to come-with.

I am pretty sure there is more to be said here, but I don’t want to come off as not being humble.

• add humble to this list.

Who are you right now?

Sometimes I want to smile
to sigh
to close my eyes and just be

Sometimes I am alone
in a room full of people
invisible

Sometimes my heart is torn
swollen and bruised
unable to beat

Sometimes there is silence
even as birds sing
because I am without you

Sometimes I am hopeful
that you will see me
that you will welcome me
that you will allow

Sometimes I am scared.

“All is ready, you may proceed,” his own voice says to him from the ship’s speakers.

“I know ‘all is ready’, but I’m not ready,” he says under his breath.

The ships systems are coming online, one by one. The ship’s computer is less a computer and more him.  As he slips into an induced coma for the duration of the journey his own mind will take over and keep the ship on course, as well as communicate with others who are in the Tamas Form.

Life Support is operating at perfection, as usual, and there is nothing to fear.  Nothing at all.  But, it isn’t about the fear, it is about the release.  Once he eases his body down into the pod, and the nano-laced jelly covers him completely, he will be lost once again to the Surya, the one mind.

He is suddenly reminded an ancient Hindu proverb, There is nothing noble about being superior to others. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.

The is no thought that can remain hidden from the Surya, no wicked desire or off-hand remark that can stay in the shadow where he intended it to remain.  All of him, all that he is will be collected, cataloged, and contained in a report somewhere.  That is why he finds a moment to look back at a monitor, one last second of being alone, being himself and nothing more.

I am the snow-covered peaks, longing for the traveler’s approach.  I call out to the guides, but my summit is desolate.

I am the desert oasis, cool waters and shade I offer, but the caravan misses me, lost in the dunes.

I am the jewel, hidden in the loose stones underfoot, the sun would show my splendor, but I am unclaimed still.

I am the secret knowledge, yours for the having, are you seeking me still?

There are moments
In darkest of hours
When nothing matters
When you are in my arms.

There are moments
In the now-to-now of my life
When I am at peace
When I am in your presence.