Have you ever lost a friend?

‘Lost’ might not be the right term, I mean you know where the person is spatially, just not where they are as your friend any more. It is a sad and lonely feeling. Even when you have other people around you, and you value them, losing someone is hard on your soul.

Don’t get me wrong, I have grown away from people in the past too. Just ran out of things to talk about and lost the connection we shared. You join the military, you seek education, you find a deeper religious belief system, all of those change who you are and I understand that. Then there are other times where you know that you and the person are still capable of being friends, but you just aren’t. Those are the sad times.

I personally think the only option is to be compassionate and open to the person, letting them know that you are and always will be there for them when they need you or reach out to you.

Compassion is the only answer to almost all of life’s questions anyway.

I was watching people at lunch today, sitting alone in the corner at Taco Bueno, eating my bean burritos and thinking. There was a mom feeding her son a taco. He was laughing and having fun which was stressing his mother, but she continued to smile and tell him he was a good boy and that it was alright. She asked him to stop when he tried to drop his taco shell on the floor, and he laughed with her, leaned forward and gave her a messy taco-flavored kiss. It made me think of my mom and how kind she is with her children and grandchildren.

Kindness is something that my mother taught us our whole lives, even though we had no idea class was in session. Whether it was helping with homework or talking to us about our life decisions, mom was there, sitting with us on the couch or on our bed, talking us through it all. I knew that as I grew older and began to make decisions that took me further and further afield, she was still there, a phone call away, when I needed her. That gave me tremendous peace of mind.

There were times I am sure my siblings and I thought she was too worrisome or to demanding. Now that I am an adult with a family of my own I see how kind and compassionate my mom was and is still.

There is a reason my kids want to spend every weekend with her. They love the attention she gives them. The time they can spend with her at the kitchen table, painting and making things with pipe cleaners and construction paper. She shows my kids what everyday magic is, every day. My mom is good for me and she is good for my children too.

One quality that is necessary for Buddhahood is compassion for all sentient beings. With out knowing it my mom was teaching me this my entire life. I hope I am lucky enough to have my mom in my life for a long time to come. For me, for my children and for theirs one day as well.

Mom taught me to forgive others by her own actions. There have been times when I know she was wronged, even by those close to her, and she got over it somehow. She taught me to repay kindness by those same actions. She has opened her house time and again for those that need a safe and secure place to sleep and eat. A place to feel welcomed. She is far more compassionate than I am on so many fronts.

I wish everyone had the chance to have a mom like mine.