Tag Archive for "suffering"
This is a list of thoughts, actions and ways. It is written to help you, and all of us to be kinder, more compassionate people. I believe that our job in this life is to show compassion, understanding and to ease suffering wherever we find it.
- Respect all beings: your parents, grandparents, siblings, elders and everyone you meet deserves your respect. This includes all living beings too. Dogs, cats, all animals, insects and plants.
- Treat others the way you want to be treated - this is the Golden Rule of life.
- Be courteous and polite, help rather than hinder. Raising your voice is not necessary nor does it get you what you seek.
- Listen to what other people have to say, don’t interrupt when others are talking for you can not learn from your own voice. Patience is a virtue that should be cultivated and encouraged.
- Do not make fun of others or call them names. This would hurt your feelings if someone did this to you.
- Do not bully or pick on others. Instead, protect those who cannot do so for themselves. It is easy to be a bully; it takes courage to be a protector.
- Turn away from pride. Have the strength to admit when you are wrong and the intelligence to learn from others.
- Anger is never quelled by anger, but only by love.
This is written for my children, but I will strive to live by these rules myself.
Have you ever lost a friend?
‘Lost’ might not be the right term, I mean you know where the person is spatially, just not where they are as your friend any more. It is a sad and lonely feeling. Even when you have other people around you, and you value them, losing someone is hard on your soul.
Don’t get me wrong, I have grown away from people in the past too. Just ran out of things to talk about and lost the connection we shared. You join the military, you seek education, you find a deeper religious belief system, all of those change who you are and I understand that. Then there are other times where you know that you and the person are still capable of being friends, but you just aren’t. Those are the sad times.
I personally think the only option is to be compassionate and open to the person, letting them know that you are and always will be there for them when they need you or reach out to you.
Compassion is the only answer to almost all of life’s questions anyway.
I talk pretty big about compassion. I even try to live the talk, and I think I do a good job with almost every one I come across; but I fail with my family. Why is that? I have always hated the saying, “We hurt the ones we love” — it just seems like such a cop-out to me. Why do we rationalize that it is acceptable to hurt those we love, the people closest to us?
I bring all of this up because yesterday morning was a war zone at my house. My son and I had a disagreement about how his behavior was affecting his sister’s. It ended up with both of us upset, angry and hurt. I felt badly for the rest of the day about it. I let my emotions run away with me and he paid for it. I should have remained calm and softly spoken to him, instead my voice became thunderous and he was scared and felt like I had betrayed him to the girls.
Last night we had a good talk about it, hugged and then we all watched the new animated movie from Marvel, Dr. Strange. (It was very cool.)
It bothered me all day at work and then I thought about it an awful lot last night too. Why can I not control my anger at home? Why is it that my kids are the ones that see my anger while I can remain calm with any one else?
I would rather spend time with my children than with anyone else. They are wonderful, they still see the everyday-magic that the world has in so much abundance. Sometimes I like to watch them play when they are not aware I am there, watching from the corner or across the lawn. They are amazing.
Yeah, they are hard on each other, fighting about toys, who sits where and which one of them gets to spend the night at the grandparents house. But they are so kind and loving too.
Last night before we went home and watched the movie I took the kids to visit my grandfather. He was sleeping when we got there, and barely woke to see us for a bit. After he dozed back off the kids sat around with me, watching him and being quiet for as long as they could. When we left his room they all took turns, one by one, giving his cheeks kisses and hugging him as best they could around the hospital bed and they IV and wires. It was sad and wonderful. They love him so much.
I can learn from them… something for me to think about.
