Spent yesterday with the family. Most of the day was just at home with my wife and children, it was nice and quiet. We watched a couple of sappy movies, which made my wife smile and get all teary-eyed.
Late in the day we went to my mom’s house for dinner with my brother and sister and their families, that was nice and low-key as well.
At some point yesterday I started reading a meditation on Chenrezig and thinking more about it. Clearly I am not an authority on this meditation, nor am I an authority on Chenrezig or even Buddhism, but I do very much like this meditation. I like how it flows, I like the imagery it creates in my mind and I especially like the way I feel when I am done.
Rejoicing
With happiness, I rejoice in the ocean of virtues of developing the mind of enlightenment wishing to bring joy to all sentient beings and working for everyone’s benefit.
As I read and then re-read this above excerpt many times I thoughts about my children and how I react to them. I am all-to-quick to anger, my voice rising and the heat pouring off of me. I judge before I know the whole story with them, favoring the little ones most of the time.
I realized that I am not helping my children to rejoice. I am good about that with my friends and coworkers, but not with the souls that should matter most of all to me. My own little creations.
So I decided, once again, to try harder, to re-double my efforts with them and to show more compassion as I go. In meditation on Chenrezig, the Buddha of Compassion, you would think I would begin to listen to the words I am saying.
I was sitting there in my mother’s house and I was upset with something that my son had done, I suddenly was very aware of my mother watching me. She had a look in her eyes that said a lot to me. She was upset that I had handled myself badly again. She was worried that I had scolded my son with out showing him loving kindness. My mother has always been one of the most compassionate people I have ever know, and now I realized how my actions were hurting her as well as my son. I saw myself in her eyes and I was not happy with the person she was seeing.
OK, so now I am actively listening. Maybe this time I will start to get it right. Thank you Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day.
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